I had some good visits with Laney and I had some visits that didn't go as planned. Laney would "test the boundaries" as I had been informed she might. Early on, she would tell me that she loved me and try to hold my hand and sit on my lap. Thanks to the thorough training I received, I knew that I had to stop the behavior and redirect it, which was difficult to do with a 7 year old. In the beginning, I had mixed feelings on how to handle these types of situations. I didn't want to hurt her feelings by not telling her I loved her or not allowing her to hold my hand, but at the same time, I knew I had to instill trust in her. Trust that I was not going to hurt or abuse her, like others had.
By redirecting her behavior, I was teaching her boundaries. She tried and tried, and I kept telling her no and redirecting her. Eventually she got the point because she stopped trying. I'd like to hope that overtime I showed Laney how to interact with others in an appropriate and healthy manner. I think I showed her that she didn't have to compromise herself or her body to have others like her.
Laney and I did so many fun things together! We went to the Binder Park Zoo, the library, the movies, the park, out to eat, the mall to window shop, YMCA to go swimming, and more. Laney had never been to the zoo or the library. I tried to focus our outings on spending time together, rather than buying things and spending money. My youngest sister was 2 years older than Laney, so my mom would give me clothes that no longer fit my sis, but would be perfect size for Laney. While going through the donations, I used that time to further discuss hygiene issues. I let Laney pick out whatever she liked and the things she didn't like or couldn't use, we took to the local homeless shelter. We did this several times. On one of our visits, the director gave us a tour of the shelter, which was an eye opening experience for both Laney and I.
Over the year I spent with Laney, her therapist thought her behavior was improving and decided to close the case. This meant I was no longer obligated to meet with Laney. Although her case officially closed, I occasionally still saw Laney until I graduated and moved away from Kalamazoo. For about a year after I moved, I would send cards and little gifts for her birthday and holidays, but I never heard back! One of my little gifts was some note cards already stamped and addressed, so all she had to do was put them in the mail. I am grateful for the time I spent with Laney as she showed me how to be patient, have fun and accept others for who they are. I sometimes think about Laney and wonder how she is doing.
