Self-disclosure boundary covers what personal information you choose to share with your mentee. Topics might include relationships, job experience, friendships, drug/alcohol use, etc. I think before you share personal info, you should ask yourself if this is something you wouldn't mind other people knowing. For example, if you share your past drug experimenting with your mentee and in the future they get mad at you and tell others that you used to do drugs. Ask yourself, is the information age-appropriate for the child?
Before you start sharing personal info with your mentee, I would suggest asking yourself the purpose of the story. Am I sharing this story for my own personal reasons? Share with a purpose! And share at the right time. Don't just blurt something out or interrupt to share your thoughts. Keep in mind that you are supposed to be a good listener for your mentee!
If your mentee asks you to share a past experience, you don't have to answer right away. If you feel uncomfortable or you are not sure how to reply, let them know you'll get back to them. In the meantime, use your resources! Call the Mentor Coordinator, listen to your gut, and tell the child if you feel uncomfortable.
Think of a good answer before your mentee asks you an uncomfortable question. And practice saying it. For example, “I don't feel comfortable sharing that information.” Or rather than answer, put the question back on the child (“sounds like you are thinking about drinking” or “tell me your views about underage drinking”, etc.).
I think there are some situations where self-disclosure is okay. Such incidents may include when you were in a tough situation and you made a decision that led to a positive outcome.
We have a unique opportunity as mentors to be really good listeners. Most of our kids don't have anyone who will just listen to them without judging them. During our time with our mentees, we need to make it a safe environment where they feel free to share stories and memories. We need to make the time about the child, not about our own childhood.
Message Edited by Allison on 10-14-2008 09:39 AM
Message Edited by Allison on 10-14-2008 09:40 AM
You must be a registered user to add a comment on this article. If you've already registered, please log in. If you haven't registered yet, please register and log in.